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Keep the love that protects your independence.
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п»їLoving someone is much more than baring a body, it is baring a soul, but that love must be reciprocated to be complete, there must be a balance. Phrases such as "My existence has no meaning without her", "I live by and for him", "She is everything to me", "He is the most important thing in my life", "I don't know what I would do without her", are expressions to banish from our thoughts and vocabulary if we want to achieve a healthy relationship.
The intense sensation of falling in love has been studied in many fields: philosophical, literary, scientific, psychological... Because it is a state in which the person feels flooded by happiness, joy, sensuality and many other positive sensations.
"That's what it's all about: meeting people who make you see things you don't see. Who teach you to look with different eyes."
-Mario Benedetti
Falling in love is a kind of transitory obsession for a person, which produces various effects such as idealization of the loved one, loss of concentration, daydreaming, loss of appetite, insomnia... But, all these effects last for a while, then comes the reality and the need to face it.
Studies on loveThere are several studies and scientific research that have shown that when we fall in love our brain produces a combination of hormones similar to those produced in an addiction. Dopamine and norepinephrine levels increase, which is why we feel excited and full of energy, and serotonin levels decrease, which can lead to repetitive thinking about the other person.
A study by the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, points out that when love is broken, just as when a person is addicted to drugs, the consequences of addiction are so strong that they can lead, in some cases, to depression and certain types of obsessive behaviors.
Another study conducted in the United Kingdom on the psychology of love, involving 4,000 people, concluded that it is the small acts that matter because they are the most valued. Bringing your partner coffee when he or she wakes up, telling your partner how handsome or beautiful he or she looks every morning, are little things that are valued more than spending money on expensive gifts.
"I fell in love with life, it's the only one that won't leave me without me doing it first."
-Pablo Neruda
One aspect that is hurting couples' relationships today is social networks. According to a survey conducted by the Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers of the United States in 2011, there has been a perceived increase in divorces due to the use of social networks, since they generate jealousy, mistrust and therefore, relationship problems.
Love or dependenceBut one of the fundamental problems affecting many people is the inability to differentiate between love and dependence. A person who has emotional dependence is usually characterized by low self-esteem, a submissive character and above all by not conceiving his or her life in solitude.
With people who feel the deep need to have someone by their side, idealizing that person and living by and for that person. Some characteristics that can be highlighted of an emotional dependent person are described below.
The dependent person does not know how to live alone. They are people who always need to be with a partner and who do not learn to enjoy their loneliness; in general, they chain relationships to avoid being alone because they are unable to think of a life without a partner.
In addition, they usually have low self-esteem. An emotional dependent is usually a person with low self-esteem, they are people who do not like themselves and constantly seek the approval and affection of other people to feel secure.
Lack of assertiveness and total surrenderDependent people do not know how to say "no". They are complacent people who, for fear of rejection or a breakup, do not know how to say no, they do not express their opinions when they do not like something or something does not make them feel good, they simply focus on pleasing the other person so as not to lose him/her.
In addition, they tend to put their relationship above everything else. A dependent person puts his relationship above his hobbies, friends and family, it seems to be the most important thing and does not allow anyone to get in the way of that relationship. In other words, the dependent person puts the relationship above him/herself.
On the other hand, the partner of an "emotional dependent" is usually a self-confident, self-centered, dominant and not very affectionate person. For that reason, they find their perfect match in "emotional dependents".
"Stay with love that gives you answers and not problems. Security and not fear. Confidence and no more doubts."
-Paulo Coelho
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